12.01.2010

:(


Sometimes I think I'm falling out of love with.. Me
I don't even remember who I am really anymore
I've become an entirely different person
I spend so much energy time space etc worrying about others
To be honest people could give to Middle fingers about me and my well being but I don't want to be mean ugh
I recognized this since my baby shower :/ people who promised to come didn't bother or made excuses people who came some (not all) just came to eat no gift nothing no even a card?! I didn't make a big deal but I was sad :( but I'm grateful for the gifts and support I did get I didn't actually expect anything
I work hard at my job and I'm tired of it tired of not having the option to just be lazy and rest because I can't depend of people to effectively support me I have to be smart
I'm tired of bills taking all my free money
I'm tired of going to the mall to find me something cute and only coming out with some for the baby or Byron :/

I'm tired of the lack of time I have in the mornings to eat tk my prenatal pill get dressed nice and do my hair
I'm tired of having a partner yet my car is filthy smh
I'm too nice!
I hate liars are people who get my hopes up
I don't mind buying zions things or even byrons it just..... What about me.... What about what's good for me... What about what I need (lol dreamgirls)

Sigh I complain too much
I have alot on my mind on my plate it's easy to give up but I won't

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3 comments:

  1. CindiaDecember 2, 2010 at 7:18 AM

    Skip the malls. Go to a store where there WONT be anything for men or babies. And go! If not, then when you go to the mall, go straight to YOUR favorite stores. Don't feel guilty about it, I see you've gotten a lot of things for your son and boyfriend. They'll understand! Sometimes we just have to do what we want for us because others wont. Hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  2. the mommyDecember 3, 2010 at 6:47 PM

    Oh, sweetie! I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. I agree with Miss Cindia. Take this time in your pregnancy to take care of yourself & be completely selfish about it. Pamper yourself.

    No one would fault you for that!

    When baby comes, you'll find much less time to do this - so do it NOW! Completely enjoy the next few weeks! And, I'm sorry to say this, but men are a little dense in the head at times. You may have to spell it out for your guy. Tell him what you need! If you need him to run a bubble bath for you & massage your aching feet, tell him! If you want him to go buy something just for you, tell him! If you want him to pamper you a little bit more, TELL HIM!

    It sucks that sometimes they can't figure it out on their own...but no one said that they were the smarter sex!

    Seriously, please go pamper yourself...if that's what you need right now. Love yourself and the strong, beautiful, independent, lovely woman that you are!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. with.love.laDecember 3, 2010 at 10:10 PM

    thanks both of you ladies im going to take myself out tommarow after work
    im going to do my very pretty polish my nails and toes
    put on something very cute then im going to eat at this place ive been dying to try and by the end of the day i want to have gotten myself 1 thing i really like:D

    ReplyDelete

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