day 1 1st love it was and what it meant

hmm.. well the first time the 3 words slipped out of my mouth it was more of a reply to avoid hurting him and now that i think about it it was nothing more than lust yuck!eww his black ass anywho he cheated on me with my friend that should have been a deal breaker but i was young dumb desperate and fighting self esteem issues so i persevered thinking i could earn/buy his love fmylife i could just kill his ugly self but anger is an emotion and those i do not have at all zip none nada for him thank you jesus so moving on from that loser to my official first ell oh vee ee

so hmm.. my first love was awesome but it ended because of lack of maturity and readiness on both parts but sometimes like it its a beautiful night and a full moon i feel his love and know im on his mind :) at first it was long distance which was the BEST man we would literally talk all freaking day ( it was summer) he would laugh i would laugh it felt so good,...so..natural..so right i was his and he was mines we talked about the what if's of one day maybe a wedding or child but we didnt let it weigh us down because our love was too free to happy-go-lucky and the reason i know he thinks of me on full moon is because i think of him with all my heart on full moons because no matter what and how many miles we both seen it and for a moment we were together theres so much more i could elaborate on but i dont want to bore you guys .(cheese)
so hey ho lets go
p.s im still learning how to let go :)

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